Guidos Love Spray Tan

This is pretty funny…especially once you get into it a little and see some of these dudes reappearing. :)

Spray tan = loser in a can. And for the love of God, somebody please let me know exactly when the ‘Astro-boy’ look became popular? ‘Spiky hair’ is
supposed to be a generalization, isn’t it?
P.S. – I got 50 bucks that says at least one of these guys is named Carlos.
P.S.S. – Thank god pink shirt dude in the back decided to raise his arms, so we can all get a glimpse of just how gay that shirt really is.

I wonder if they have competitions to see who can get their hair the spikiest? I guess this shot was taken on spiky hair and striped shirt day. Somebody needs to tell spiky at bottom right to ‘pop his collar’. He ain’t fitting in. Notice the lack of available/interested girls. ‘Nuff said.

When I first looked at this shot, my only thought was ‘what’s with the lips?’ – I figured maybe they were all hamming it up for the camera? My second thought was ‘hey cool, guy on the left is like a Guido mini me!’. My third thought was ‘does that hairstyle really impress anyone? No, seriously, I mean ANYONE?’

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Not all Guidos are skinny. Some are steroid-enhanced rage-a-holics who will tear your brain out of your nose for looking at their girlfriends. They too are fans of spray tan, and believe that the words ’say cheese’ really mean ‘glare at me fiercely, and try to give me cancer with your eyes’.
Where the heck does a guy find a mega-scoop neck anyways? Probably the same place you get spray tan.

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Spiky hair, big man, little shirt, superman belt buckle. My work here is done. Steroids are awesome.

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This is a rare shot of a young Guido prior to his first steroid injection. Notice the soft quaff of hair just waiting to be sharpened into lethal spikes, the pert and pouty lips, the bronzing of the skin, the twin cubic zirconia’s in each ear, the neck pendant, the pack of Marlboro’s… This is a blue chip Guido prospect people. He’ll one day command a vast army of Guido warriors into battle. Ironically, this is also what most prison bitches look like.

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Nothing makes a Guido look cooler than a bottle of Grey Goose yo. Except for maybe some spiky hair, a spray tan, a big watch, a pendant, a pouty stare, and a wrist strap that says ‘this is an all-ages party, but I’m one of only 12 people here that can drink legally’.

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Sylvester Stallone’s ugly cousin bumped into our favorite blonde He-man Guido, and brought his Guido-Emo (Gimo?) buddy along for a picture. Now He-man doesn’t have to be the only guy in the photo with a decidedly homo-sexual shirt on.
Somebody needs to find and rescue this poor girl.

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If only this car would back up. Quickly. Funny thing is, this l’il Guido probably had sex with some poor dumb teenager as a direct result of taking this photo. Surprising in that his collar wasn’t even popped!

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Ahhh.. There we go. Collars – popped. Hair – mad spiked. Eyebrows – plucked to perfection. Lips – Pouty and pink. Head- cocked to near perfect 65 degree
angle… Guys like this used to get beat up routinely when I was in high school. Something very wrong must be occurring within today’s youth.

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Honestly, I couldn’t STAGE a better young-Guido pic! Hair is super spiked!! Pout is in full on GO mode, and the bronzer has been judiciously applied. Notice the gold chains in full view, and the fact that pretty boy doesn’t need to bother with such trifling social constructs as ’shirts’. Closer inspection will reveal sunglasses tucked in the right pocket (most likely Channel or Armani), as well as a ‘wad’ of greasy bills in his left hand. Assuredly, neither prop is there by happenstance. As in: ‘Eh Franco, waitaminute.. take another picture Franco, but dis time lemme get a wad of freakin’ bills in my hand, and I wanna make sure my shades and medallions are visible. Should I unzip furda? Furda? Maybe even a l’il furda?’
What’s in the bags you ask? Why jumpsuits of course!

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Ok, once you get over laughing at the human jack-o-lantern on the left, take a look at buddy boy on the right. He’s thinking- ‘Damn, I’m so pale. I wonder if I can get down with some o’ dat spray tan – and get the girls to chase after ME for a change?’

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Boo-yah.
L’il dude even got a l’il Bling on too. Go git ‘em son.

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Am I the only person whose eyes went straight to Mr. Pink Jacket? I think I must be going crazy. Why isn’t anyone else pointing at his head and laughing? And how is it that he has a girl that is willing to be seen, nay. photographed with his nasty orange ass? Speaking of that…. It must look awfully odd where the orange stops and the white begins, no? The two couples on the right must be REAL happy that their lifelong graduation photos will include photos of the Guido brothers, and their razor sharp hairstyles.

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At what point does one finally admit to themselves- ‘I may be addicted to spray tanning’. Notice how Carrot face on the left still elected to sport the ‘bling’ over the suit. Classy.

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No need for words here. Guys that shave their armpits, flex for photos, and wear Puma headbands to clubs make life full of smiles.

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